expensiveface:

"that boy is really cute" "wait cara arent you a lesbian how can you tell" you know what. youre right. i forgot to put on my HomoSpecs™, which allow me to view all men as grayish blurry blobs. Is that jeremy?? i can’t even tell now that i’m wearing my HomoSpecs™. all men look like the same unattractive indistinguishable gray haze to me because i am homosexual 

  • person: but what if your parents had aborted YOU
  • me: well okay for starters i wouldn't have been forced to hear that stupid ass comment you just made